Regular programming to resume Thursday
April 21, 2010
tags: A modest proposal, Braves, Bruce Banner, chicken stratch, Cubs, Darnell McDonald, David Ortiz, Edinson Volquez, firing blanks, Jacoby Ellsbury, Jason Heyward, Javier Vazquez, Keli McGregor, Mets, Mike Cameron, Mike Lowell, Mike Pelfrey, Nate Latsch, Nationals, Pawtucket, PED, Phillies, puns, Rangers, Red Sox, Reds, Rockies, Tim Wakefield, Victor Martinez, Yankees
Due to many exams in a short period of time as the semester winds down, I’m unfortunately going to have to just do Short Hops today (I’ll try to make them worthwhile). Full columns resume tomorrow. For now, if you haven’t yet, check out my Modest Proposal from yesterday.
Short hops: I mentioned in an earlier post that I am a fan of puns. Sometimes, writers try too hard, or in many cases come up with something that almost works but takes a little too long. “‘Pen of Philly can’t get o’er homers of the Braves” is one of those puns. … Said headline is referring to when the Braves’ Jason Heyward, the prince of baseball, added a page to his future best-selling autobiography with a two-out game-tying homer on the tail end of a back-to-back job against the Phillies bullpen. Nate McLouth then led off the tenth with a solo walkoff shot. … Rockies president and former football star Keli McGregor unforunately was found dead in his hotel room Tuesday morning. The 48-year old was well-liked and respected by all who knew him and had close interpersonal relationships with many on his team and across baseball. On such a dark occasion, the Rockies put together an eight-run third inning over the Nationals to put one up for McGregor, 10-4. … With Boston’s Tim Wakefield on the mound and Victor Martinez “catching,” the Rangers stole nine bases in the first 4.1 innings of yesterday’s game. I was planning on linking Wakefield and Martinez’s names to funny images or videos to ridicule this idea, but really the only thing that will do this clownshow justice is to just show it. The Red Sox came back to tie the game in the eighth on a homer from Darnell McDonald, who was pretty much called up from Pawtucket during the national anthem. McDonald then won the game with a walkoff single in the ninth. … Also in Red Sox news, starting left fielder Jacoby Ellsbury was placed on the 15-day DL Tuesday morning before centerfielder Mike Cameron was placed on the 15-day DL later that day. … Also in Red Sox news, the inevitable started to become true last night as Mike Lowell pinch-hit for David Ortiz in the seventh inning last night. Ortiz broke his bat over his knee and changed his name to Bruce Banner. … The Mets won 4-0 yesterday over the Cubs as Mike Pelfrey improved to 3-0 with a 0.86 ERA. It was the first time this season that the Mets actually followed a win with another win. … Beleaguered, besmirched and beaten Yankees starter Javier Vazquez managed to eke out a win last night, his first of the season. Vazquez moved to 1-2 on the season with 5.1 innings of three-run ball and dropped his ERA from 9.82 to 8.27. … The Reds’ Edinson Volquez, a standout in 2008, was suspended 50 games for use of a performance-enhancing drug that he was allegedly prescribed in the hopes of “starting a family” with his wife. I would believe it more if he flat out went and sacrificed all pride to say he was firing blanks. Volquez, who will miss no actually games because he is on the 60-day DL recovering from Tommy John surgery, will only lose about $100,000 of his already sub-$500,000 salary.
Looking forward to a full entry tomorrow!
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